Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Going into Full Time Game Design as a Job

So this blog has kind of been sitting here waiting for the moment when I finally decide I want to do something with it. I have used it a few times when I had extra time and energy but for the most part it hasn't been what I wanted it to be. I blame myself for this because quite honestly if I didn't let myself get so damn distracted by life and everything else, it would be a lot further along. Well the good news is that is about to end. I am embarking on a journey I think I have waited far to long to commit to and I am pretty happy with the decision.

I have flirted with the idea of doing game design full time as a means of supporting myself every since I first started playing RPG's. I have actually written a few things and made some money off my hobby, but never really took the plunge so to speak. I am taking the plunge now. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, which in reality is never going to come, I am just going to do it. I won't say that I am not a little worried about this decision but I feel confident that I will succeed.

I guess the reason I am choosing to do it now is that I am just tired of being stuck doing the same crap I have been doing for the last ten years or so. I got stuck in this system of writing for corporations, selling stuff I didn't want to, learning and writing about things I could care less about, and it slowly ate my soul. Sure I made money doing it. I got to set my own hours, got to work from home, got to focus on my kids and the like. While that was good, I wasn't feeling fulfilled, I wasn't feeling happy, in short I was creating my own misery.

I kept telling myself (and other people) that I was working on this project or another, and most of the time I was, but I never finished any of it. I would start telling myself I needed to focus on other things, more adult things, more "real" things. I would go online find a freelance job, underbid what I was worth, hate the work, hate the person I was doing the work for, and mostly hating myself. In that time I have gained way to much weight, closed off way to many friendships, stopped caring about how I looked, and really just stopped caring period. If I keep this up I will be in the grave far to early.

I don't want that to happen. I want to wake up with a feeling of excitement, a feeling of purpose, a feeling of living up to my potential. I love games, I love thinking about them, writing about them, love the people who play them and more. I have always wanted to do game design for a living and now is as good a time as any. I don't think I will get rich doing it, but I do believe I will earn just as much as I have been (maybe more) and more importantly I will be doing something I love.

So here it goes, taking that deep breath, looking down at the unknown waters below, my heart is pounding my palms are sweating, my brain is screaming at me that I can't, but I know I can so it is finally time to jump...